Post 6 | Holiday Food Fears
This post is dedicated to those who, like myself, do not look forward to the holidays. While there are innumerable reasons for this seasonal dread, most people have fear surrounding all the trappings and big to-dos of the Christmas parties they feel the need to attend. I am here to give you tips and suggestions on how to make the most of your parties this season – from Christmas to Channukah to New Years – whether your fear surrounds social interactions in general or food based fears.
FOOD FEARS AND OVEREATING
Remember this: what matters most is not what you eat between Thanksgiving and New Years, it is what you eat and do between New Years and Thanksgiving. One meal, one week, one month of eating is NOT going to derail your life, your health, your worth. The pressures of that one meal, one week, one month can ruin your whole season. Do not let this happen to you.
Be mindful of what is going in your mouth – not only at meals, but also the bites, the licks, and the tastes. Most importantly – know that this is not the only time you will be able to have these foods – but do savor them. This is a special time of year where we gather with those we love, family or friends, and the other most important thing to remember is the point of this season: Enjoyment! Enjoy the conversation, the company, the movies, the music, the lights, the love, and the food.
Try your best not to engage in any diet culture or diet talk. It is toxic. If someone begins to discuss calories, or the desire to lose weight in the new year, or anything unhealthful in regards to weight or other “numbers of health” – just walk away. If you cannot walk away – make a suggestion for a healthful lifestyle change such as going on walks on their lunch break, having a salad with each meal, buying a reusable waterbottle, or going to see a dietitian. It is my job to engage with those who wish to make a lifestyle change; it is no one’s place to bring weight or diet talk into the celebratory space.
SOCIAL ANXIETY and DEPRESSION
Everyone feels some sort of anxiety around social interactions. It could be a parent, boss, or role model you wish to impress, or at least not sound like an idiot. It could be a love interest or a potential new friend. It could be your in-laws or your future in-laws. It could be a stranger. No one wishes to feel like they have nothing in common with others at a party. There could be pressure to drink, or not to drink, to be the life of the party, or to play the angel people think you are. All of us have these feelings and woes about social situations.
During the holidays and end of year celebrations it could be even harder. People are thinking back on successes and celebrations of the past year and the potentials for the year to come. Those who have a significant other can seem like the pinnacle of success to those who are single during the holidays. For a person who thinks they have no one to share the moment with intimately, this time of year can be incredibly hard.
What we need to remember is that everyone is human and people only show-off and highlight the things that are going right in their lives; we never know what is going on behind closed doors. Just remember that you are special and you always have someone and somewhere to go. Anyone who pressures you to do something you do not wish to do – or – act like someone you are not, anyone who belittles you or makes you feel not good enough does not deserve to be in your sphere. You are special, you are unique, you are enough. You have something to give.
Arm yourself with some pearls of wisdom to disengage from the negativity. This works in regards to social anxiety as well as food talk. I, personally, always prepare some platitudes to launch at well-meaning individuals who wish to know about my situation in life. If you do not have some of your own, feel free to use some of mine:
“I am entertaining some great opportunities for the next few months, I am still making final arrangements”
“I’ve learned so much this year that I am planning to implement in the coming months.”
“I’ve had some minor setbacks this year, as have we all, and am moving in the right direction now”
“No spoilers! I have great things coming up and I don’t want to jinx it.”
“I’m really looking forward to hiking more this summer. Do you have any plans for the upcoming year to do something you have always wanted to do?”
“I got a new [dog, cat, hamster, fish, orchid, tree, computer, game, ring, chair, painting, picture, camera, movie, etc], would you like to see some pictures?”
And the ever popular: “I see [so and so] over there, I haven’t seen [them] in forever. I am so sorry, excuse me, I want to catch [them] before [they] leave”
Or: “I promised [someone] I would help [them] with the [item]. I totally forgot, please excuse me.”
Just remember: holidays are for enjoyment. Do what makes YOU happy. There is plenty of time the rest of the year for worry, and there is always help for that too. You are not alone and you are worthy.
Happy Holidays! Come see me in the New Year!!!